LostNMissing Inc, 26 Noyes Rd., Londonderry, NH 03053 Phone: 603.548.6548.
“Rather than mourn the absence of the flame, let us celebrate how brightly it burned.”
This page is dedicated to one of our own, Christina Mancuso Henry, a two year volunteer with LostNMissing as a State Adm for Florida, and Iowa. Always offering to help, and the first to raise her hand, she will be terribly missed. Christina always possessed a sweet persona and was filled with compassion. We were honored to have her as a member of the team…and more so as a friend to all. This young mother of 3 was tragically shot and killed on May 2015.
Christina was only 29 years old. Our prayers for her children, family and all who love and will miss her. God Bless her soul. We love you, Chrissie.
Cynthia Caron and the team at LostNMissing Inc.
REMEMBER ME
Remember me with smiles not tears,
For all the joy through all the years,
Don’t dwell on thoughts that cause you pain,
We’ll see each other once again,
I am at peace, try to believe,
It was my time, I had to leave,
But “what a view” I have from here,
I see your face,
I feel you near,
I follow you throughout the day,
You’re not alone along the way,
And when God calls you, you will be,
Right by my side,
right here with me.
-Author Unknown
Photo of the “Hand Holding”, in the 5-stages of grief, is of Cynthia Caron holding her mom’s hand during her final days, September 16, 2012.
The five stages of grief are:
1-Denial-“this can’t be happening to me”, looking for your loved one in familiar places, setting the table for the person or even wondering if a mistake was made and your loved one has not passed.
2-Anger-“why me?”, feelings of anger at the deceased, blaming them for “leaving”, angry at oneself for not saying “good things” the last time you parted ways, are just a few examples of common anger emotions.
3-Bargaining-attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back. This is especially common once a loved one’s earthly remains may have been located and an ID is pending.
4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.
5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was extremely depressed.) Many use the word “closure” and quite honestly one may never find “closure”, but you can find acceptance. Many find solace or comfort in religion or more bonding with their present faith will help with healing.
Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, is also a good tool that should be part of the healing process. Because one is healed does not mean one will ever forget, nor should they. Your loved one wants you to live the rest of your life as joyful as possible. Your goals will one day turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of your loved one. Be strong and have faith that one day you will meet again.
An excellent series for Christians suffering deep grief and angry at God.
https://bradhambrick.com/angerwithgod/
Complicated Grief: By Casey King,
Previous Executive Assistant – LostNMissing Inc
~There are some situations in which the typical handling of grief don’t apply. Many times, the nature of the relationship with the deceased person, the circumstances of the death, or things that occurred after the death can lead to something called complicated grief. Complicated grief is an intense and long-lasting form of grief that takes over a person’s life. After two months of being missing following a vehicle accident, my husband’s body was located. At the time of his disappearance, our children were five, four and three weeks old. There were many things left unsaid, and many questions left unanswered. I tried very hard to get help for my grief; attending groups, reading books and seeing a counselor. Through all of this I felt disconnected from the people who were trying to help me and other’s who were grieving. There were days that I couldn’t recognize my own children or make sense of daily routines. I would go through periods of extreme numbness, unable to feel empathy for even those I cared deeply about. I felt entirely alone, like no one in the world understood how I felt or what I was going through. I felt angry, even jealous at other’s in my grief group for being sad, when the loss they were grieving followed a lifetime of happiness. I could not relate to anyone. One day, while on the internet I stumbled upon the term called complicated grief on the following website: http://www.complicatedgrief.org/ Finally, I understood what I was going through and had some confirmation that I was not alone. If you can relate in any way to my story, I urge you to click on the link. Below you will find some other informational links on complicated grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I wish you peace in the days ahead. With hope, Casey King
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/complicated-grief/DS01023
http://www.grief-healing-support.com/complicated-grief.html
“Anna’s Rose”
Photo courtesy of Cynthia Caron
Life Must Go On
Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.
Then brush away the sorrow and the tears
Life is not over, but begins anew,
With courage you must greet the coming years.
To live forever in the past is wrong;
It can only cause you misery and pain.
Dwell not on memories overlong,
With others you must share and care again.
Reach out and comfort those who comfort you;
Recall the years, but only for a while.
Nurse not your loneliness; but live again.
Forget not. Remember with a smile.
-Navaho Prayer
To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
Thomas Campbell
Death is merely the gateway
into the arms of the Lord.
Unknown
“And in the end it’s not the years in your
life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“Don’t ask me how my child died. Ask me how he lived.”
For those whose lives were taken by foul play, we find the Jewish law and the words from the Talmud as very profound and regardless of one’s religious beliefs, I think the words spoken are so very accurate.
Prayers for those families whose missing loved ones were taken from the hands of another. May you find strength.
Excellent articles to help cope
Helping Your Child Deal With Death
Overcoming the Loss of a Child Without Drugs or Alcohol: A Parent’s Guide
Advice for surviving the death of a spouse or partner at a young age
How to Help an Elderly Parent Deal With the Death of a Spouse
How to Avoid Family Conflicts after the Death of a Parent
SUICIDE
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
Suicide is like having “Tunnel Vision”
in which the deep despair, internal pain
and feeling of hopelessness
clouds sound thoughts
of a better tomorrow.
It’s not selfish, as some believe,
nor lack of knowing they’re loved…
it’s an emotional place,
within their mind in which the tunnel
is frantically “spinning” constant internal pain
of confusion, anguish, and exhaustion
in which, invariably when combined
with abysmal distress,
clouds rational thinking.
The only way out for those who suffer…
is at the end of the tunnel.
Those left behind suffer intense
guilt & pain of their own.
In time they’ll realize…
it was not their fault.
In time they’ll see…
it was not even the fault
of those they loved,
who passed of suicide.
Written by,
Cynthia Caron,
President-Founder
LostNMissing Inc.